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Writer's pictureTim Huber

E\F

Flashing fuel light

my tank is running low.

Grip the wheel tight

knuckles cold as snow


I don’t need the light

to know that I’m empty.

I feel it take flight

I know when it’s left me


Should I refill?

the price of gas is high.

Drink what makes me ill

and fuel this firefight?


I don’t know what to do

I’ve never run on empty

but I do know that I choose

to drive on roads that tempt me


I’ll drive a little longer

until my gas is gone.

My flashing light will falter

but nothing will be wrong


For the first time in ages

I’ll step outside my car.

I’ll stop writing pages

in my diary of scars.


 

Usually, it's a good thing to "refill" and a bad thing to run on empty. But, as I was working through the analogy for this poem, I wondered if sometimes it's better to let ourselves run out. I guess this depends on what kind of fuel we're using, and where we're going. In my case, I feel like sometimes I fuel myself on unhealthy things even though I'm trying to get to a good place (such as writing poetry). This fuel can be anything from music to spending some time alone, which aren't bad things in themselves. But sometimes, in an effort to create "good" things, I convince myself I need to stay in my "car," or keep feeling a certain way. It's a similar idea to my last poem, but maybe a little clearer. 

I'm not really sure how to let myself run out of fuel when I need to. It's scary, and sounds a lot like giving up. But maybe it's more like taking a pit-stop or even rechecking the map to make sure I'm heading in the right direction. Maybe healing even comes with it. I don't know, but I think it's definitely worth looking into. 

I hope you have a wonderful week!

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