Shaky hands
light-headed man
writing poems
to meet their demands
Aporia
For healing
self-revealing
lines and quick rhymes
to say what they’re feeling
Aporia
But there’s a price
I think
to the things that he writes
It’s hidden
buried
in his mind, out of sight
yet vibrant
displayed
stretched out in the light
Aporia
The price is redemption
healing exemption
the hope to recover
from all that he’s suffered
Aporia
He can’t take the pills
he so often prescribes
he’d stop, drop his pencil
unsure what to write.
Aporia
His pain will reopen
he has to stay broken
so others can feel
and one day be healed.
Aporia
I wonder if he
permanently
holds onto It
because only It hears
Aporia
He knows It
and It knows him
solitary companions
in a white padded canyon
Aporia
First off, it's good to be back! I had a nice break from work for a few days and feel energized to keep writing. Now into the poem.
This poem (for me) is pretty big and powerful. It covers some of the most difficult and complex aspects of depression/mental battles I've faced. If you're not familiar with the word Aporia, you should definitely look into it, it's pretty interesting. It does have a lot of uses, however, so my use for it might not match each of the ones you find. The one I chose basically means to ask something you know the answer to, thereby achieving nothing but continuing to go over the same problem. In other words, all talk but no action. At least, that's how I understand it.
Anyway, the character I formed (Aporia) is the embodiment of this. One of the tactics it's used against me is that I need to stay in a state of pain so that I can relate to other hurting people and reach out to them. It may sound silly, but it can be a pretty convincing argument (or excuse, maybe) for someone who has faced a bit of hell on earth. Sometimes I feel like I keep going in circles, bringing up old issues that I've already dealt with, or purposefully dipping into painful situations. It's like I've tricked myself into believing that those things are a part of my identity. I'll never fully understand the human mind (it's too scary for me to want to try) but I know that I don't have to be constantly suffering to relate to someone.
Again, I understand that this may be a bit of a confusing and unrelatable poem for some of you, but I find it somewhat therapeutic. If the poem doesn't necessarily vibe with you, I hope you can at least enjoy the rhymes and work I put in.
Keep an eye out for Aporia, it's never too far away.
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