The face I feel
becomes more real
with every wound and scar that heals.
Poisoned thoughts
tortured mind
lies I’ve bought
and left behind.
I know your face
it feels like mine.
Your darkened space
was once my mind.
But now I see you
for what you are
cowardly creature
that robbed my heart.
Seeing is believing
I see you clearly.
Now you’ll be leaving
now you will hear me.
And so will the others
who breathe your breath
sisters and brothers
who’ve tasted death.
My pain won’t be wasted
I’ll wear it proud
I will not erase it
for those in the crowd
of violated minds
scarred inside
twisted lives
you left behind.
We’ll rally together
and scream so loud
that no one will ever
be able to doubt
that you exist
and are clever enough
to capture and twist
even those in The Love.
See him
fear him
but do not go near him.
Expose him
and show him
that we can outgrow him.
They say knowing is half the battle. Once you know your enemy and their strategies, you can fight more effectively and be prepared. I think that’s just as true for internal battles as it is for external ones.
I had a moment of clarity one morning. I had been struggling with my emotions and the darker corners of myself and found questions forming in my mind—questions that lead to no positive change whatsoever. I suddenly realized how familiar the scenario was. I had heard the same questions, although they were worded a little differently and centered on different topics, and the same voice was speaking them. In that moment I was able to realize that a fight was taking place—a fight for control.
In the past, when this sort of struggle was still new and I understood both it and myself much less, I often let these questions fester—I let the intruder in. Part of that comes from ignorance, something only experience or wise counsel can fix. Unfortunately—but as the result of my refusal to reach out—my ignorance has been broken mostly by experiencing firsthand the result of the intruder’s tactics.
But, by God’s grace, I have lived long enough to understand the battle. And I’ve taken a side, too. It is an empowering feeling to catch your foe when he is trying to slip through the door. It makes you realize that he can be fought, no matter how small you feel or how powerful and true he seems. Once you see him, once you know him, you can fight him. But even then, I know for a fact that I can’t face him alone. By leaning into the support around me and—most importantly—God’s irrefutable truth, the darkness is pushed back. And it’ll keep getting pushed back every time it comes to the door, until the fight is over and I can rest.
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