Nobody’s looking for the half-awake poet.
The guy
whose eyes
are too closed to write;
to tip a rhyme
or flip a line.
Nobody’s looking because he’s not writing,
he’s sitting in silence, slumped forward—fighting.
“Wake up, shake it off!”
He struggles to stop
blankets of fog
that silence his thoughts.
But what chance does he have? His lethargy is medicated,
prescribed by the doctor to sedate what’s been agitated.
He’s left with a decision, the choosing of one war:
either face his condition or sleep evermore.
Either risk a short life for a chance to write well
or struggle to write what never will sell.
He’d make the choice now if he’d only stay awake.
After sleeping a few hours, maybe then he’ll think straight.
So he climbs into bed or lays down on his desk,
giving sleep to his head, though his thoughts never rest.
Who knows what will happen to the half-awake poet,
if anyone’s asking, he’s too tired to know it.
This poem is another one of those somewhat personal/mopey ones (you're probably getting sick of them). But it's something struggled with a lot recently, and it always helps me to write a few lines when I'm struggling. If you take any kind of medication, you'll probably be able to relate to this poem in some way. If you don't, I'll let you in on a bit of a secret. Having a medication that requires constant dosages is both a blessing and a hindrance. On one hand, it stops a serious problem. On the other, almost every medication has "possible" side effects. From my experience, it can be really tough to work with the medications to balance out these side effects while living a healthy life. Sometimes it even takes adding a medication to counter the effects of another. Anyway, in my case, one of the more recent side effects I've been watching out for is periods of drowsiness. This may not sound like a huge deal, and I'm aware that it could be worse (it has been). But if it means taking 3 hours of your workday, it can really throw off the whole day. Now, I know that there can be a lot of different reasons for drowsiness, and I'm still studying it to see what might be the root cause, but I think it's important to be careful with meds. They're not a cure-all, and they often require a lot of fine-tuning to actually work. Luckily, doctors are usually aware of what side effects they can bring, and are able to work with specific conditions and cases. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're on medication, take care of yourself. Don't underestimate the power of the pill, talk to your doctor if you're concerned about side effects.
Hope you have a great week!
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